Remember the old TV commercial with the bathtub ring that wouldn’t come out? Okay, maybe that’s a bit before your time (and mine). I have a similar situation. No, not the ring on my bathtub, but the ring on my finger. I can’t seem to get rid of that darn thing.
I’ve tried putting it in the drawer, or my pocket, but it just keeps going back to that ring finger on the left hand. It’s like a magnet, or a bad Ronald Reagan movie (quick, where did I steal that line from!).
All seriousness aside, I can’t seem to take off my wedding ring. I was in Cancun before the divorce was final, and the friends I was with kept asking me about ‘the ring’. They said I needed to take it off. They reasoned that “what if you want to date someone”, to which I said “I don’t want to date anyone.” “But you aren’t together any more”, they said. “But I’m still married”, I retorted. And on and on it went.
Well, now I’ve been divorced for a few months now, so I can’t use my last excuse… but yet, the ring remains on my finger.
I’m inspired by the 1996 movie “Independance Day”. In that movie, David Levinson, the character portrayed by Jeff Goldblum, is divorced, but has never taken off his wedding ring. I don’t know if its because deep down inside he knew his wife would come back, or if he just didn’t believe in divorce, but I think of that movie when I look at my ring.
And, of course, in the movie Levinson and his ex-wife are reunited, and live happily ever after! Or so Hollywood would lead us to believe.
So why is my ring still on? Why can’t I take it off? Why should I take it off. I’m not sure I know what the answer is, other than its not time for me to take off my wedding ring. Am I hoping for that Hollywood ending? (Yeah, I kinda am!)
You have to understand that this ring is very special to me. For one thing, my ex made this ring. She created the mold, heated the gold, and poured it to fashion this one of a kind jewelry. This ring has very special meaning to me because it is crafted from her hand. I just can’t imagine not wearing this piece of art.
And a big part of me believes that even though I am legally divorced, mentally I am still married, and I always will be. Right now, I believe that she is still my mate, and always will be. False hope? Perhaps. Unhealthy? I don’t know. I seem to be of somewhat lucid thought. One of my friends tells me that I will always miss being married to my ex, but someday it will be memories, and not a painful thing to think about or deal with.
But the ring remains on, and I’ve decided that I’m not going to take my wedding ring off… at least for now.