I still wonder if anyone reads this dribble that I write.

Well, I think I’m finally starting to understand why my wife left me almost two years ago. I was her escape clause. I was her way to get out of a fairly repressive home at an early age. Because I was her second boyfriend, she never really had a chance to find herself, therefore as she grew up (while being married), she discovered that she really didn’t want me.

I realize that while I was not the perfect husband (who is), I was pretty good. I gave her as much as I could, and even put up with a lot of frustrating things she did (and didn’t do), and now I realize that her behavior was of a person who did not love me as a mate.

So, I think she ‘loved’ me, but really didn’t LOVE me. Apparently she started planning to leave me as early as 1992, but I didn’t see it.

So, what do I do? Nothing. I’ve done everything possible that I could do to prevent this, but I now know that I was powerless, she was going to leave me no matter what.

I still love her. And I always will love her, but I now will be able to start moving on.