Four years.

It’s hard to believe that she left me four years ago.

I look at all that has happened over the years, and I’m truly amazed that I am still alive. To rehash… she told me on a Sunday that it was over. That Thursday I was laid off from my job of over 10 years, and that night, at counseling, she told me that it truly was over.

A few months later, I lost a contract that I had worked for 6 years, and that summer I had about $10,000 of equipment stolen from my storage building. Yeah, 2010 sucked. 2011 and 2012 were not much better. I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel last year, even though the ex remarried a year ago this month, and so far, 2014 has been okay. Not great. Okay.

I’m still struggling financially. I am really concerned that I’m not going to make it, but there is not much more I can lose.

Frankly, I don’t believe there is anyone else out there for me.

Its a conundrum. Do I remain alone, or do I make drastic changes in my personal life to be with someone. Either way, I will be unhappy.