I’m actually doing fairly well. My new job is going well, I’m getting all my bills paid, and even bought myself a new toy. For the most part, I’m adapting to those curve balls we call life.
A couple of things have me a bit worried. My son has decided to move to the coast, and I live in the middle of the country. Granted, its a 3 hour plane ride, but it will be difficult for me to see him when he makes his move. But he will be much closer to his mother, and I think that is good.
But the real problem I’m having is due to a conversation that I was involved in, although as an outsider. One of my coworkers was talking to our boss about his ex-wife. Seems they had been married for 27 years (sound familiar?), and they had split up many years ago…. at least 10-15 years. Apparently, the boss knew his ex, and they were talking about what an evil person she was, and why didn’t he divorce her earlier. It was a lengthy talk, mostly derisive to this ex-wife, but the crux was that he just felt trapped.
I’ve heard from several people that my ex-wife also felt trapped, and hearing this conversation really bothered me. I started to wonder how many people out there think that I’m an evil person. I know that there are some of her relatives that believe I was an evil and horrible person. They believe that I stole her away when she was so very young and tortured her for years, until she got the guts to escape. I know that is not true, but….
I know that I shouldn’t care what other people think of me, but I do care. I wish they knew how much I loved and still love my ex. I wish they knew that I would do anything for her, including letting her go so that she could be happy.
I recently saw some photos of her with her new husband of 2 years, and her smile is incredibly bright, a smile I haven’t seen since we were newlyweds. She really does appear to be happy, and that bothers me too. I couldn’t keep her happy, and I still don’t know why. I will never know why.
My ex is gone. The reality is that I will never see her again, other than on social media. My son is leaving too, and I will only get to see him on rare occasions.
But I’m still bothered by the conversation. I’m still bothered that there are people out there that believe I am evil, and hurt their relative.