Am I a Good Man, part 2

I’m actually doing fairly well.    My new job is going well, I’m getting all my bills paid, and even bought myself a new toy.   For the most part, I’m adapting to those curve balls we call life.

A couple of things have me a bit worried.   My son has decided to move to the coast, and I live in the middle of the country.   Granted, its a 3 hour plane ride, but it will be difficult for me to see him when he makes his move.   But he will be much closer to his mother, and I think that is good.

But the real problem I’m having is due to a conversation that I was involved in, although as an outsider.   One of my coworkers was talking to our boss about his ex-wife.  Seems they had been married for 27 years (sound familiar?), and they had split up many years ago…. at least 10-15 years.   Apparently, the boss knew his ex, and they were talking about what an evil person she was, and why didn’t he divorce her earlier.   It was a lengthy talk, mostly derisive to this ex-wife, but the crux was that he just felt trapped.

I’ve heard from several people that my ex-wife also felt trapped, and hearing this conversation really bothered me.   I started to wonder how many people out there think that I’m an evil person.   I know that there are some of her relatives that believe I was an evil and horrible person.  They believe that I stole her away when she was so very young and tortured her for years, until she got the guts to escape.    I know that is not true, but….

I know that I shouldn’t care what other people think of me, but I do care.  I wish they knew how much I loved and still love my ex.  I wish they knew that I would do anything for her, including letting her go so that she could be happy.

I recently saw some photos of her with her new husband of 2 years, and her smile is incredibly bright, a smile I haven’t seen since we were newlyweds.   She really does appear to be happy, and that bothers me too.  I couldn’t keep her happy, and I still don’t know why.  I will never know why.

My ex is gone.  The reality is that I will never see her again, other than on social media.   My son is leaving too, and I will only get to see him on rare occasions.

But I’m still bothered by the conversation.   I’m still bothered that there are people out there that believe I am evil, and hurt their relative.


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