What if the ex came back?

I was asked the other day a very interesting question.   I was asked if I would take my ex-wife back.

What makes it interesting is that the friend who asked me that knows me very well,  rekindledknows  the straw that broke the camel’s back of my marriage.

I had to think about my answer.

I had to really weigh the options here.  If I were to ever have the opportunity to have my ex-wife back in my life as my lover, would I take advantage of that offer?  Would I be willing to give up a lifestyle to have her back in my life again.  Would I be totally devoted to her, and her alone?   Could we rekindle the flame that we had?

I actually think that I would, and that we could.

Oh, there would be a lot of discussion and dates and negotiations before I would tie the knot again.  I would want to make sure that we had the communication that was lacking during our marriage, and make sure that we were on the same page of the relationship book.


If we were to get back together, there would have to be an agreement on what the relationship would be.  After all, we’ve both opened Pandora’s box, and she may want/need things outside of a marriage.  And I have no problem with that.

I believe that the key to having a successful relationship is communication, something that was sorely lacking in my marriage.   If we were able to get that line of communication and trust working, then I have no doubt that we would be happy forever.

The problem about the question asked is that it is not based in realism.   My ex-wife is not coming back.  She is happily married, and exploring a new side of her life that she never could imagine with me.   Ironically, I had thought many times about doing the same things she is doing now, but I was too afraid to take the chance.   I see that now, and I’m trying to put my life in a position where I could take those chances now.  I expect to be there in a few short years.

So yes, I would take my ex-wife back, if she ever knocked on my door.  I’ve learned so much in these last 6 years and I know it would be different.

But it will never come to fruition.

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